New Year, New Me?

Who am I kidding?  New Year, same old me.  I really don't do resolutions, because I am truly, constantly, trying to make changes.    I have three things  I work on daily.  Organization, less yelling at the kids, and spend more time with the girls.  You know I wanttt to be the Mom I see in internet-land.   The one that likes her kids, cries on the first day of school, instead of the last.  I have read all around blogland about blogger moms wanting to be more present with their kids instead of on their phonne all the time.  Is that just lip service you think?  I mean a lot of these women have already neglected their kids to build their blogs - or they've negglected their husbands by doing all the work after the kids go to bed.  I may neglect my kids, but it is usually to clean up their mess or do laundry, which is bascially the same thing.    I do not neglecr my husband.  After the girls go to bed is our time to hang, mostly watching a show, then a bath or shower, then if I am lucky, I get lucky.   Can't have a good marriage if stuff gets in the way of quality  time together.  And yes, watching Justified  is spending quality time together.  Watching car shows is not.  I hit the internet if that Chasing Classic Cars is on - YUCK!

Oher than the lack of resolutions, I have a headache.  I changed thyroid medicines today.  Is is that?  I am pre-menstruel? Sinus?  Who knows.  I did have my first mammogram today.  At 42.  Late yes, but since I just stopped nursing in May and have been nursing since Octiober 2006.  It wasn't bad.  I expected worse.  THe tech said I will pribably get a call becuase I have dense breasts.    No fat.  Is that good?  If you saw my boobs you'd say get some fat.  Because it took that poor woman minutes to find all the boob and shove it in the machine.   Some fat might help the shape.  Should this be my husband's rant?  ANyway, I didn't think it was that bad.  If anything the room was cold.  I think if you have to stick you boobs between plastic plates, the plates and the rroom should be warm.

Any other rants today?  Well, the kids finally went back to school.  Good or bad?  It was nice to have some quiet (well, actually, I got the mamogram and ran errands, so the car was quiet) but it was hell getting up this  morning.  HELL!  The good thing is all their extracurriculars started back up.  Chicken started karate today, so that gave me an hour to spend with Bubby, we did homework, but it was nice and calm.  Then I took Bubby to karate.  What a sport for girls huh?  This is the Bubs second session and Chick's first.  Bubs really likes it and Chicken had fun.  So a win.  It is nice that Bubby finally likes somesthing and she seems to do well at it.

Ok, time to clean the kitchen and wrap up the day. Not very ranty today am I?  I must be off from the headache.

Since I am on a roll....

I will just post again.  The Chicken has hads a fever for two days.  Not a high fever, just kind of a not-a lot-of -energy fever.   Both her and the Bub have runny noses.  I feel as if I am fighting it off.  You know, because I need another illness.  The Chicken had a bit of intestional upset tonight, so I am hoping that it was the only occurence, I don't want her (or me) having a bad night.  Really, I want everyone better so we can get out of the house.  I hate being couped up.  I didn't even dress today - just like my girls.

Apparently, after reading the last paragraph, I NEED to get out of the house.  I am losing my snark.  That and I am loing any desire to have sex.  Really not my usual self.

Here is a mini rant.  Why is it when Mr. Angry Mommy is with the kids, they find their own thing to do.  When it is just me, like we he went out to work in the garage and I sat down to do the Chickensbirthday  invites, the girls immediately need something.  Or this morning on his way out the door for bootcamp, they started whining and fighting?  I think they hate me.

There is much more to rant about including my sister and her double standardy ways.  But, if I am going to keep up this hot roll, I better save some material.

Like how my lovely neighbors put up the "ice arena" again.  Or how the husband goes out at 10pm to shovel it.  Why so late?  Because she is a shrew and he is escaping.  I just heard him scraping something outside.  At 9:50.  Come on, he couldn't do it when the sun was up?

Merry Christmas To All, Can you Believe I had a Sick Night?

I guess that what happens when your an angry mommy right?  As someone who really doesn't enjoy the Christmas season, it seems only fitting that I would throw up all night and into Boxing Day.  I either ate too much rich food - (I really only eat meat and veggies, tons of food issues) or I had food poisoning or stomach flu.   The TMI is nothing digested.  To put a positve spin on it, I slept all of the 26th, meaning I made up all the sleep I missed out on prepping for Christmas.  And I have a UTI.  On Christmas Eve I called 2 of my doctors, neither were there so I hit the minute clinic.  I thought I might have a UTI, but I didn't have the normal symptoms.  Basically my kidneys hurt and I had some pelvic pressure.  I haven't had an infection in 20+ years.  I still am not sure how I got it.  I went through all the possible causes, and the only thing I can figure is last weekend I didn't use the loo after sex.  ONE TIME.  Seriously.  Aren't you glad you logged on to read this blog today?  

Other than all my Merry Medical Christmas issues, it was a pretty good holiday.  The girls loved visitng with the cousins (they were all home from various points around the world) and my sister (and her husband too) on Christmas Eve. Grandpa and his wife came over Christmas morning for a late breakfast.  Then my sister and her family came over for more fun with the cousins.  

I had plenty to rant about - you know, like the Barbie Mega Blocks my sister gave the Chicken had well over a billion pieces that I had to put together - but other than the sickness (at least no one else got it) I will let it all wash over me.  There were many moments that almost make Christmas worth it.  The dogs may have gotten into a fight, even though Santa brought each one of them a bone, but they only ripped my pants and only one dog was bleeding....  See Christmas miracles do still happen.

I am such an Angry Mommy, so why don't I post more often?

Mostly, because I am a tired mommy and I think I things to rant about then forget.  There are all kinds of things, but lets talk about the reason for the season - Christmas - and all its associated work.  And how much I can't accomplish.  Because Thanksgiving was late.  What have I made you ask?  NOTHING.  OK, I made some carmel corn for some of the teachers (like the gymnastics and swimming and karate and all the specials the kids get at school.  Not the main teachers.) and I added a 10$ gift card.  Is that enough?  That is part of the problem.  You want to appreciate everyone, but crap, I am going broke.  I was going to make all these ornaments.  Hardy fucking har.  I made one myself and Beavis made snowman ornaments for her teachers (instead of popcorn.  The school wont let them have fun things to eat at their parties, so no fun things to eat for the teachers.  For their Christmas , I mean Holiday party they had cuties  (clementines), fruit snacks and apple juice.  I jug for 25 thirsty kids.  I hate apple juice, it is just junk, don't bill it as healthy you know.  Anyway, I was concerned  it wasn't enough, (and it wasn't) but the PTO woman assured me the cups were small and they could get water from the fountain.  WOW, isn't that a great way to celebrate?  Hey, I can easily get into the ranting swing of things YEAH!

OK, you know what I hate, bloggers that think they are cute with these words: anywho, whilst, bestie, cray cray, prezzie, brekkie.  Know what else?  Sponsored posts.  Especially the ones where you think you are reading some heartfelt story and it ends up an ad for Visa.  And in my other life, I read craft and sewing and art blogs and I hate bad ideas.  Yeah, I know, maybe someone thinks they are not bad ideas, or bad patterns or just plain ugly clothes.  But they are.  I am here to tell you I have seen some horribly ugly stuff.  And how do those women do it all?  I know this is a popular cry out there.  You an plainly tell I am not the best blogger.  I don't mind doing it, espeically this blog because there are no photos or links, it is basically me bitching in stream of consciousness, but it is not more importannt than sleeping or watching a show with my husband at night or taking a bath togethe.  Or spending time with my girls (which, despite m lack of blogging, I don't think I do enough of).  Do these crafty women have super nappers (that is a another rant, my saintly husbnad is the only napper in this house) or do they stay up all night?  I have snacks to make, laundry to do, books to read out loud, chocolate to buy and eat and Elf to move around, dogs to feed (remind me to rant on how dumb I am that I switched out dog to expensive raw food then went and got another dog.  Doubled my food costs to 100$ a week.  Yeah, this Ranting Mommy is a knucklehead.) and checking accounts to balance.  And my Christmas cards?  Well, some went out last week but I ran out of stamps and need more to send the rest.

One more unrelated rant.  We have no groceries.  I mean, no eggs, no greens, no GF crispy chicken and no whipping cream for hot chocolate.  No brow sugar, no apples, no cucumbers, no broccoli.  It is the 23rd and I have to go to the market.  I am an idiot.  Now, if  I hadn't spent so much money earlier in December on stuff for us (sales get me every time and we need shoes and coats and clothes, right?) I wouyld take advantage of the Whole Foods personal shopper who just shops then brings it out to your car.  How lovely right?  Except since we have no food and a potential $500 bill, that is a 100$ charge for the personal shopping.  Yeah, I still have a gift to buy.  Remind me to rant about my lack of fiscal responsibility.......

Oh and about the bumfucks that live beind me and their cheap ass, ugly ice rink.

Let me talk about my neighbors.....

You know,  this time last year I bought my (I should say we) dream house.  It isn't the typical dream house.  Not a McMansion, not huge and brick,  but it is Mr. Angry Mommy's and my taste.   And it is bigger than the last house and has all these gorgeous sliding doors (which, typically, I hate sliding doors, they seem cheap compared to french doors, but since there is a wall of sliders from one end of the house to the other, it seems OK), a huge lot, trees, a giant basement (our old house had almost no basement, a cellar if you will) - it is just the house for us.  In fact, we were trolling the listings separately, and we both found it and wanted to see it.

ANYWAY.......  The property was for sale a long time.  It isn't a conventional house and they wanted A LOT for it.  The sellers ended up sub-dividing the property and selling the part of the back lot to the idiot neighbors we have now.  OK, he may not be an idiot, wait, who are we kidding, if he listens to the baffoon that is his wife, he's an idiot.  So, they paid 400 G's for this little plot of land (I said they were dumb right?) and set about building a house for them and their 4 kids.  Interesting fact about these people, their daughter turned 7 in June and this is the six house she has lived in.  Anyway, they had an architect, who moved out of the country mid project.  Wouldn't you hire a new one?  I mean, if you are planing to shell out huge money, wouldn't you pay a couple of thousand for new drawings instead of emailing back and forth from Mozambique?

Then here is the really important part of the story - the wife acted as the general contractor for the project.  Yeah, one of their handymen, is also a pilot.  Their house is brick, but the extra garage they built has white vinyl siding.  And is almost as tall as the house - who approved their permit, I will never know. I could go on and on about their design chocies, like the sleeping porch off the master bedroom that is supposed to look added on.  (It does by the way and it is crooked.)  Who wants something to look added on when you are spending 7 figures for your house?  And it isn't a farmhouse - it is a brick house - three stories.  And there is the kitchen which isn't finished - they bought cabinets from an insurance company - they had been in a fire.  And the third floor isn't finished.  They have lived in the house for over six months and they have NO landscaping.  In fact, we landscaped this summer and she was sad that we disposed of our 40 year old evergreens and she didn't get a chance to buy them for her house.  And the old fencing piled up in the back yard with all the big chunks of tree that were cut down to make room for the house. (Did I mention our landscaping was supposed to help block this big mess?  It barely helps.  Mr. Angry Mommy wants to put up a 8 foot privacy fence.  It will block the sight, but, their thistles will still continue to creep into our yard, fence or no fence.)

Let's first talk about how they moved in, then I will tell you how all four garages are filled with junk and they cannot put their cars in them.  A moving van brought their stuff - they got temporary occupancy while the house was being finished (HA!).  Then, a couple of fridays later, their was a u-haul going back and forth between this house and their rental house all weekend.  Then come Tuesday, Two Men and a Truck came for the next two or three days.  They pull the lawn mower out of a slot in the garage and then it goes right back in.  Four garages, the detached one has attic space.  Plus a basement.  All this storage and there is still shit on their side porch (their main entrance that faces my house) football equipment (they empty their Suburbans (more on those next) onto the porch, not the garage.  A stroller, a wagon.  You name it, it is out there.  OH, and the famr size John Deere tractor that was there all Summer.  You know, 'cause they graded their own yard (except for the back, they left that full of weeds and overgrown plants).  And now I am looking at a trailer and a Suburban that hasn't moved in at least a week and a half.  She mentioned this past spring on of their cars had transmission problems.  They do have an old jeep that he, a dental professional drives. This past summer he was driving the suburban without the air.  Yesterday a new Suburban pulled up, he got out and I was like AHA! that other one doesn't work (Am I Mrs. Kravitz or what?  I swear, but until I get a fence, this is all in plain sight.  It is hard NOT to look out back of my house - it is like a bad, white trash play.) Anyway, they loaded the new one up and went somewhere - leaving us a peaceful weekend. Mr. Angry Mommy thinks they rented it because it was already plated. 

They are very loud with all their kids.  Coming in after my kids are asleep.  So loud.  Loud in the afternoon is one thing, after 9 on a school night, another.  OH, and they leave their door open for 10s of minutes.  Like a barn door.  Did I mention the gravel on the side of the driveway that is adjacent to our fence?  OK, I am happy they have a driveway.......  People, I could go on and on and on.  And I do.  This is like a bad sitcom to the Angry Mommy and her husband.

Oh, oh, oh, I have to tell you, after I let her take my girls for manis/pedis for her daughter's birthday, she tells me how she runs into things in parking lots.  Her 7 year old doesn't sit in a booster (and she isn't much bigger than my tiny six year old) and I have seen the 7 year old in the front seat.  Oh, it is is better.  Crazy neighbor tells me how she took a bunch of kids to the big city (60 miles away) and she didn't have enough seat belts, so she had kids double up.  Would you tell this to anybody?  Don't you hope it was her kids that doubled up?  Who does this????????

So, I am calm now and have to get ready for my boot camp class.  Hopefully there will be some boxing so I can picture their house in front of me. And maybe the crazy woman who built it.  Oh, and they won't move like I hope, because you know no one will pay for the house what they have into it.  It is a disaster!

I am calm, find my happy place, find my happy place.  Ommmmmmm!!!!!

What is Modest Clothing?

One of the worst things about blogging rants is that there is never a computer around when I feel the rant coming on.  I use the computer in the kids playroom to do my ranting, and really, I do avoid coming up here unless absolutely necessary. 

Anyway, I read this blog, Lil Blue Boo (the woman is deserving of her own rant someday, but not today because I won't rant about someone who has faced great tragedy and keeps on keeping on, if only I were so positive but then I would be writing this drivel would I.  OK, here is a little juice about Lil Blue Boo, everyone who comments blows sunshine from their ass.  Lil Boo posted a photo of herself in a hat with dreadlocks, and people were falling over themselves to comment on how wonderful she looked in it.  Now, Ashley is attractive and she pulls bald off very well, and while a hat is fine, the dreadlocks were horrid.  I am sorry, there are very few people who can and should sport them.  A white girl from California is not one.)  and she has a sponsor that sells clothes that are MODEST.  What the hell does that mean?  Their tag is Modern Modest Clothing.  The owner writes that we are all so busy looking for modest clothing is a hassle.  OH MY GOD!  The site, noVae, shows a scoop neck top, a camisole and a skirt a bit above the knee.  Using what they sell as an example, there is modest clothing everywhere.  OK, maybe not Victoria's Secret, but they sell underwear.  It would be different if they were clothes like Chloe Sevingy wore on Big Love - all buttoned up and dragging floor.   I know it shouldn't bother me and it doesn't much, but I think it is a marketing ploy to sell marginal looking clothes.  Because I don't dress provocatively, (well, not everyday, occasionally, once a year if I am lucky) and I buy my clothes from Target, J. Crew, Anthropologie and some local stores in my town.  I think most of what we wear is modest.  OK, I am losing steam with this one.  I got a little one who wants a princess book read to her.  Again.  That should be my next rant, how Little C has to wear her favorite red Belle dress every day.  Even after she has urinated in it. 

Why Is Everything a Mess or Why Haven't I Taught my Kids to Pick up After Themselves

Why is my house a mess?  There is shit everywhere!  The kids have their own dedicated toy room, hell, they have a toy upstairs.  Two rooms and a bathroom (yes, Bubby plays with water in the bathroom.  Makes up water sets using tupperware and Playmobil, I guess better in the bathroom than on my zillion dollar wood floors.)  One room is toys the other is a play house and a kitchen set.  So why, since they have several hundred square feet, do their toys end up all over the house.  There are toys in their room, toys in my bathroom, toys in the family room in the TV stand, toys in the hearth room (yeah, yeah, I have a big house - you'll never (fingers crossed) hear me rant (well maybe if the furnace breaks or maybe about how much it will be to replace the huge driveway) about my dream house.  I love it.  My heart swells when I pull into the driveway.  And yes, I am shallow), toys in the art room, toys in my office and toys in the mudroom.  You would be right thinking they have a lot of toys.  But they are not the normal kind of toys.  Bubby likes squishy little lizards and aquatic life from the dollar bin at Target.  Chicken likes the Disney Polly Pocket-like princesses (cannot tell you how many I have replaced because Lunatic the crazy dog eats them like Easter jelly beans).  So there is little stuff everywhere.  Open a drawer and there is a Playmobil gorilla.  Or Strawberry Shortcake.  Or a tea set.  Or the tea set in the turtle tent in my family room.

Who picks it up?  Well mostly my The Saint aka my husband.  I pick up the toy room every other week with the kids so The Miracle Worker aka the housekeeper can clean upstairs (which she only does every other weeks since nobody comes up here but the kids.  They mind of trash the bathroom up here, so The MW takes care of that too.)  I ask Bubby and Chicken to do it.  They do it a bit, whine how is is hard, then when I am not looking or lording over them, they slip away and make a mess in a room far far away.

And really, the only decent organized example they have is The Saint.  Me?  I still have Easter stuff on the dining room table (I did get rid of the hard boiled eggs BEFORE they started to smell - yes, smart asses, I AM patting myself in the back.) My office is a dizzying array of fabric, craft supplies, stuff for my taxes and bills.  Really, how would I ever be able to get entrepreneurial and make some extra dough to pay for my vacation habit (or my shoe habit or my expensive chocolate habit, or my jeans habit, or my pilates habit or my kids clothes and shoes habit.  Who doesn't have clothes in this house?  The Saint.)

I am not making the case for a frustrated mother overrun by her uncaring children, am I?  Oh, you say they are only 5 and 2 so they can't possibly be messy just to make me even crazier than I already am?  The hell you say.  Chicken calls me pooh pooh head just because she know I can't stand it.  And she is 2.  You should see how she eggs Bubby on and on.

So, here I sit, typing a post that nobody will read, instead of putting away the laundry (3 weeks worth) or emptying the dish washer, or helping the kids clean up their shit, or, OH CRAP, I do need to send the taxes....