You know, this time last year I bought my (I should say we) dream house. It isn't the typical dream house. Not a McMansion, not huge and brick, but it is Mr. Angry Mommy's and my taste. And it is bigger than the last house and has all these gorgeous sliding doors (which, typically, I hate sliding doors, they seem cheap compared to french doors, but since there is a wall of sliders from one end of the house to the other, it seems OK), a huge lot, trees, a giant basement (our old house had almost no basement, a cellar if you will) - it is just the house for us. In fact, we were trolling the listings separately, and we both found it and wanted to see it.
ANYWAY....... The property was for sale a long time. It isn't a conventional house and they wanted A LOT for it. The sellers ended up sub-dividing the property and selling the part of the back lot to the idiot neighbors we have now. OK, he may not be an idiot, wait, who are we kidding, if he listens to the baffoon that is his wife, he's an idiot. So, they paid 400 G's for this little plot of land (I said they were dumb right?) and set about building a house for them and their 4 kids. Interesting fact about these people, their daughter turned 7 in June and this is the six house she has lived in. Anyway, they had an architect, who moved out of the country mid project. Wouldn't you hire a new one? I mean, if you are planing to shell out huge money, wouldn't you pay a couple of thousand for new drawings instead of emailing back and forth from Mozambique?
Then here is the really important part of the story - the wife acted as the general contractor for the project. Yeah, one of their handymen, is also a pilot. Their house is brick, but the extra garage they built has white vinyl siding. And is almost as tall as the house - who approved their permit, I will never know. I could go on and on about their design chocies, like the sleeping porch off the master bedroom that is supposed to look added on. (It does by the way and it is crooked.) Who wants something to look added on when you are spending 7 figures for your house? And it isn't a farmhouse - it is a brick house - three stories. And there is the kitchen which isn't finished - they bought cabinets from an insurance company - they had been in a fire. And the third floor isn't finished. They have lived in the house for over six months and they have NO landscaping. In fact, we landscaped this summer and she was sad that we disposed of our 40 year old evergreens and she didn't get a chance to buy them for her house. And the old fencing piled up in the back yard with all the big chunks of tree that were cut down to make room for the house. (Did I mention our landscaping was supposed to help block this big mess? It barely helps. Mr. Angry Mommy wants to put up a 8 foot privacy fence. It will block the sight, but, their thistles will still continue to creep into our yard, fence or no fence.)
Let's first talk about how they moved in, then I will tell you how all four garages are filled with junk and they cannot put their cars in them. A moving van brought their stuff - they got temporary occupancy while the house was being finished (HA!). Then, a couple of fridays later, their was a u-haul going back and forth between this house and their rental house all weekend. Then come Tuesday, Two Men and a Truck came for the next two or three days. They pull the lawn mower out of a slot in the garage and then it goes right back in. Four garages, the detached one has attic space. Plus a basement. All this storage and there is still shit on their side porch (their main entrance that faces my house) football equipment (they empty their Suburbans (more on those next) onto the porch, not the garage. A stroller, a wagon. You name it, it is out there. OH, and the famr size John Deere tractor that was there all Summer. You know, 'cause they graded their own yard (except for the back, they left that full of weeds and overgrown plants). And now I am looking at a trailer and a Suburban that hasn't moved in at least a week and a half. She mentioned this past spring on of their cars had transmission problems. They do have an old jeep that he, a dental professional drives. This past summer he was driving the suburban without the air. Yesterday a new Suburban pulled up, he got out and I was like AHA! that other one doesn't work (Am I Mrs. Kravitz or what? I swear, but until I get a fence, this is all in plain sight. It is hard NOT to look out back of my house - it is like a bad, white trash play.) Anyway, they loaded the new one up and went somewhere - leaving us a peaceful weekend. Mr. Angry Mommy thinks they rented it because it was already plated.
They are very loud with all their kids. Coming in after my kids are asleep. So loud. Loud in the afternoon is one thing, after 9 on a school night, another. OH, and they leave their door open for 10s of minutes. Like a barn door. Did I mention the gravel on the side of the driveway that is adjacent to our fence? OK, I am happy they have a driveway....... People, I could go on and on and on. And I do. This is like a bad sitcom to the Angry Mommy and her husband.
Oh, oh, oh, I have to tell you, after I let her take my girls for manis/pedis for her daughter's birthday, she tells me how she runs into things in parking lots. Her 7 year old doesn't sit in a booster (and she isn't much bigger than my tiny six year old) and I have seen the 7 year old in the front seat. Oh, it is is better. Crazy neighbor tells me how she took a bunch of kids to the big city (60 miles away) and she didn't have enough seat belts, so she had kids double up. Would you tell this to anybody? Don't you hope it was her kids that doubled up? Who does this????????
So, I am calm now and have to get ready for my boot camp class. Hopefully there will be some boxing so I can picture their house in front of me. And maybe the crazy woman who built it. Oh, and they won't move like I hope, because you know no one will pay for the house what they have into it. It is a disaster!
I am calm, find my happy place, find my happy place. Ommmmmmm!!!!!
